The Shocker Explains: ALEPPO
Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson was roundly mocked on various social medias yesterday as if he’d released a pair of ugly…
Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson was roundly mocked on various social medias yesterday as if he’d released a pair of ugly sneakers for asking a simple question: what is Aleppo?
As Governor of New Mexico, Johnson was concerned with one chile varietal and one chile varietal only: the green hatch chile. New Mexico has a long culinary history with the chile, dating back to 1894 when Dr Fabián Garcia, a perhaps horny horticulturist, developed it at New Mexico State University.
It is a staple of the diet of New Mexico residents and featured prominently in the cuisine of the Southwest. The hatch chile is the state vegetable of the state of New Mexico. Though horticulturally speaking, peppers are fruits. However, the United States of America has always thrown caution to the wind when it comes to taking scientific classification at face value. Remember when the USDA attempted to classify ketchup as a vegetable early on in the presidency of Ronald Reagan? You can bet Heinz hasn’t forgotten it.
My home state of Indiana has plenty of dumb laws on the books. Not to mention an attempt to fix a value to pi for the purpose of squaring a circle. But at least it’s a state with the good sense to not have a state vegetable that is not actually a vegetable. In fact, it does not have a state vegetable, it’s only state food is a state pie: sugar cream pie. It fits the temperament of the Hoosier character. Enticing perhaps, but also unpleasant.
Why on earth would Gov. Gary Johnson concern himself with the lesser peppers of the Mediterranean. Have you had a Calabrese Pepper? It’s much like the pre-shot clock era NBA compared to the modern marvel of today’s NBA. It is enjoyed only by those touched in the head.
Our next president should not have to concern himself with the affairs of the wide world. He must put America first in all things: basketball, foods registering on the Scoville scale, and economics.
Besides, Johnson may have misheard and assumed they were discussing the classic Soft Boys tune, “Leppo and the Jooves.” Knowing Governor Johnson as I do (he’s my dad), he probably wanted to slash the tires of whoever got the song title wrong.